It’s been a week of head to desk moments. From the pearl clutching of the GOP beltway class to the churlish way in which the Obama administration has handled the shutdown, it’s almost like I want to send Jules Winnfield to pay everybody a visit and start quoting Tarantino’s version of Ezekiel 25:17.
With that being said, we present The PFoL Awards – Samuel L. Jackson Awards:
The Mr. Senor Love Daddy “Y’all Need To Chill & That’s The Double Truth, Ruth” Award
This award goes to the pearl clutching, couch fainting, “ZOMG, what are we going to do!”, whiny, “GOP is doomed!” people who all wet their pants yesterday after the release of an NBC poll showing unfavorable numbers for the GOP. I am so sick and tired of this. I have been involved in politics since 1992. That was not the first time I heard the death knell for the GOP. The party has been doomed about a dozen times since then. Many of the same people losing their crap right now were the same ones losing their crap after the gun bill was defeated. The same ones who were losing their crap when the sequester cuts took place.
I said on Twitter yesterday I would publicly propose to Lena Dunham if the GOP lost the House as a result of this shutdown. And if Tom Cotton loses in Arkansas and Bill Cassidy loses in Louisiana, it is on them and their campaigns. Not Ted Cruz and a shutdown over the highly unpopular Obamacare.
Get it together people. Put the big boy pants on and forge ahead.
The John Raymond Arnold “Hold On To Your Butts” Award
The healthcare.gov website roll-out can be described with one word: Disaster.
Windows Vista had a smoother introduction.
The Yugo was better received.
New Coke had better branding success.
See a pattern? The Obama administration paid a whopping $634 million website that “worked” horribly.
The apologists started jumping up and down saying the problems were a result of the massive traffic build up for the tens of millions who wanted to sign up for healthcare but the only ones buying that were the media rubes. Anybody with any development knowledge at all could tell the site was poorly coded and obviously not tested. This USA Today editorial sums it all up very well.
The Ordell Robbie “This Some Repugnant Sh*t” Award
This award goes to the idiots at the Nobel Peace Prize committee (the same geniuses that gave the award to Barack ‘Drone Attack’ Obama and Yasser Arafat) who decided to give the award to the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons largely because of what they are doing in Syria. Note the present tense. Doing in Syria. Nothing has been completed. Nobody knows what will happen. There has been no success.
The prize should have gone to Malala Yousafzai, the young and brave 16 year old girl who was shot by the Taliban because she’s an outspoken advocate for girl’s education in Pakistan.
Nice work, idiots.
The Carl Lee Hailey “Yes They Deserved To Die And I Hope They Burn In Hell!” Award
This award is presented to the media and to a dead Ariel Castro. There have been conflicting reports about how he died.
Short take on this: WHO CARES?
The Jules Winnfield “It’s The One That Says Bad Motherf**ker On It” Award
Some may disagree with this, but this award is a positive and goes to House Speaker John Boehner. The dude has what is probably the worst job in all of Washington DC. He has to deal with the conservatives who were elected in 2010, the panty-waist moderates who are ready to roll over whenever there’s a little heat, a counterpart in the Senate, Harry Reid who’s an intransigent little troll and then of course the Man-Child In Chief, Barack Obama.
Somehow the guy manages to keep it together and forges on. So light one up Mr. Speaker, you deserve it.
That will do it for this week’s PFoL Awards. Have a great weekend everybody!