A Step By Step Guide For Coming Out Of The Political Closet

A political conversion can happen slowly, or all at once. It’s almost the same as it is with faith. Some, like the Apostle Paul, are knocked on their rear ends and immediately “see the light.” Others, like Thomas, need more convincing.

It happens in politics as well. Ronald Reagan was once a card-carrying union-fan member of the Democratic Party.

Then wisdom took over. He became a Republican. Here’s the “good news:” It can happen to you to. To wit:

Ever find yourself in agreement with the following?

  1. Parents should have a role in choosing a school for their children
  2. Small businesses are more trustworthy than the government for creating jobs.
  3. Teacher’s should not have automatic tenure. Certainly not after less than 2 years on the job.
  4. Complex regulations makes it harder to start up a small business.
  5. Generally dissatisfied with size and power of government and big business.
  6. Big business often uses its influence (corporate cronyism) to push for additional regulation and taxation (another form of regulation) to keep out new competitors.
  7. Bailing out financial companies, funding green energy and ethanol credits seems downright pointless and needlessly props up market losers for no long term benefit.
  8. Despite all desire to respect other people’s choices, you cannot wrap your head around how killing a baby is for the “greater good”. You certainly cannot understand demanding over 20 weeks to make such a tough decision.
  9. You’re tired of watching a war on poverty that we keep losing and tired of politicians denying any culpability.
  10. You don’t think government welfare workers should line their pockets when it would be cheaper to cut checks for welfare recipients.
  11. A minimum wage job is an untrained, unskilled person’s first opportunity to prove their worth. Taking this from them by pricing them out of the market stops people from acquiring important skills not taught in school.
  12. You generally find it strange that there are 50 possible genders to choose from on Facebook. Life didn’t used to be so complicated.

It can be heady at first coming to the realization that you’re — gasp! — actually a right leaning conservative – or even a libertarian!

Certainly you may be shocked to find that Democrats stand in opposition to all the above ideas.

“But I thought they cared about me!?”

Well….they don’t. You’ll figure that out as you go along.

Here is some guidance for those early days as you come out of the closet.

  1. Don’t start sending your friends’ links from every story on Drudge, NRO, or Pocket Full of Liberty (wait – on the last one, please do) . They’re not there yet and your excitement will come off as too much for the average American. Also, never send anything from Infowars or Pat Dollard. Ever. I mean it. Never ever ever never ever ever. Also, steer clear of the “Obama is a Kenyan Muslim interloping anti-Christ” websites as well.
  2. Don’t assume that your new found understanding – that government is one of the worst ways to fix problems – should spill over into full tin hat anarchism. In your immediate fervor, when you come to grips with how awful it has been for some time, you’ll likely doubt the government should even exist . This will pass. Take a deep breath and remember you like general law and order.
  3. Do not go out and immediately seek to convert others. Developing an understanding on how to convey your new identity is critical in a society set up to repress individual thinking.
  4. Do not paint your entire house in an American flag motif. You’ll scare people and chances are your homeowners association will have a fit. Patriotism shouldn’t be conflated with garishness.
  5. Don’t relapse and start telling everybody how they aren’t moderate enough. This is really annoying. It means you have more to learn about the fallacy of the “centrist” position. Agree to build a bridge or not build a bridge – at least it’s a decision. Agreeing to build half of one is pointless.
  6. Don’t spend family holidays insisting that your Democrat family convert. Have fun with it. There’s nothing wrong with them (Well, most of them). They’re just wrong. Ask them simple questions like “Really, how does that work?” and then enjoy the show as you watch the lack of logical execution and respond casually “Hmm. I’m not sure that would work.”
  7. Remember that the entire premise of left wing posturing is to assume that because you disagree, “you don’t care.” Don’t let this premise slip by else you’ll find yourself sounding like an angry caricature of the right.
  8. The problem is government, not people. Despite how frustrating it can be, demonizing groups of people who benefit from government largesse won’t get you particularly far.
  9. Screaming “Socialist!” or “Communist!” even if you see blatant examples of either hasn’t really worked to win converts. We don’t know why but at this point we’re calling it a day on that one.  Let’s chalk it up to “name calling isn’t effective.”
  10. Most importantly: the friends you’ve had and the ones you’ll make will all have different political bents. Don’t institute a political litmus test on who you associate with. Who knows? You might rub off on them.

  So play it cool. Enjoy your new eyes on the world.