The Science Behind What We Settle For In Congress

This past Monday evening in the Senate select members staged an all-night session in which a variety of our leaders spoke at length about the calamity of our generation – Global Warming. Oh wait, that is, Climate Change! They called this talk-a-thon “Up 4 Climate”, and if you missed the excitement it was probably due to your needing to sleep so you could “Get Up 4 Work”.

There are details you need to grasp about this session, before we move forward like a calving glacier. No surprise that this speak-easy was conducted entirely by Democrats. Telling however was this did not include all the Democrat Senators. Notably absent were those members who are up for reelection this year, which alone could explain the sheer importance of this session; that is, it held none.

Another fact; this was not a filibuster. That is term reserved for an attempt at a blockage of legislation. This brings up something very significant in an event sorely lacking in significance. There is no bill being offered up in regards to this global crisis of historical proportions which threaten the existence of mankind. No energy policy, no green-jobs provisions, no restrictive EPA measures, nor were any recycling panaceas mentioned to solve any perceived problem. Nothing more was offered than inflated egos filling the chamber with balloon juice. This was as false of an event as the fake non-committee hearing staged by The House for Sandra Fluke that gained network coverage.

So why hold this environmental dog & pony show, especially when polls show Americans placing the environment very low on its list of important issues? Much of it has to do with a man named Tom Steyer who, if you listen to Democrats, cannot exist in real life because he is a liberal AND a billionaire. Steyer also should only appear in mythology since he is an evil hedge-fund manager who also happens to be a major Democrat donor. Note how often Harry Reid has railed against the “evil” Koch Brothers for having the temerity to lend political financial support behind causes and candidates they favor. Harry Reid thinks this is vile behavior, and I am sure it is something he sternly lectured Steyer about when Reid attended the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee fundraiser held in Steyer’s home a few weeks back.

Also, Steyer just so happens to have recently pledged $100 million towards environmental political causes. So Monday was essentially nothing more than Senators tap dancing to have cash tossed into their hats — Harry Reid included.

What became apparent is this production was heavy on melodramatics and posturing and very light on facts and science. This is ironic, because these jesters frequently resorted to “science” in their blathering, all while exhibiting a strong unfamiliarity with basic scientific precepts. One prime example was when Cory Booker took to the dais to regale folks with the story of the time he drove to Hawaii. (It says a lot about Booker that his piloting the James Bond underwater Lotus Esprit is not the most outrageous story he has told.)

One of the common themes muttered by Reid and others throughout Monday evening was how desperate this cause was for the country. Bill Nelson (FL) said, “We are in severe jeopardy,” and we needed to “recognize the problem that is happening in front of our very eyes!” Brian Schatz (HI) was equally adamant. “We’re not going to rest until Congress acts on the most pressing issue of our time.” So, what action was taken?  Which active proposals were brought to the floor?

Um… yea, about that. Turns out, for such a pressing, immediate and dire problem there has been a stark lack of activity. Reid has not brought a single environmental bill to a vote. For a chamber run for years by the Democrats this says it all. Reid, and numerous others, repeated the canard that 98% of scientists all agree on global warming as a problem. They also went on to say one party, the Republicans, routinely deny science in favor of dollars, and so on. However it doesn’t take a science degree, or even a mathematics doctorate, to ask — if 98% of science is on the same page how come Harry Reid is incapable of even getting a simple majority vote on the Senate floor?!

Hmmm, it almost would appear that maybe one party is politicizing the science.

Rather than make this a referendum on Global Warming Climate Change I will instead take a look at the lectures we have been given recently from both experts and the media. For clarity, my own skepticism on the “Man Made” aspect of warming is actually due to something I am accused of not doing – looking into the science. I have seen reports from a number of climatologists who state that the climate is something you need to study over epochs, not simply from the mid-1800s, as is the common practice. Seeing how we began emerging from a mini ice age around that period it stands to reason we are on a warming trend the last century.

Interesting that when I bring this up to warming true-believers the first thing they do is try to discredit and dismiss my sources. The second thing they do is accuse me of being an anti-science denier. (NOTE: If you want to debate my contentions I understand, but the moment you tell me that “My” science does not count you have voided your permission then to call me an anti-science denier.) 

The Cold Truth Behind The Warming 

So then, in an effort to embrace the deeply thought out and peer-reviewed science that I am accused of ignoring lets peer into the facts as we have been presented. After all, understanding can only come from reasoned minds, and if someone who has driven to Honolulu can teach me about science, I am on board. So let me illuminate the hard science for you, my fellow uneducated flat-earth science-denying obstructionist.

In delving into the data one thing about global warming/climate change becomes very clear: Only bad things will happen.

For example, gingerbread houses are imperiled. I know – take a moment and compose yourself. It gets far worse. Ancient killer viruses likely will be released from the arctic, and we’ll also become beset with kidney stones. Over in Italy  the end of pasta as we know it is on the way, which matches the horror of us losing guacamole. But even the foods that survive will kill us, as cereal will become fatal. Also, despite the advances of indoor refrigeration, it turns out ice hockey will disappear.

In fact, numerous seemingly unrelated events will come about. Slavery will see a sharp increase. Even though we cannot predict the rainfall next month one thing that is known is the amount of  rapes due to climate change in 100 years. Yet one thing that will be in sharp decline is circumcisions. And while it may not surprise you that terrorism will certainly become worse, how many of us accounted for the guaranteed rise in the execution of witches that is sure to come?

This promise of adverse environmental activity applies to the animal kingdom as well, and well beyond hedgehogs getting bald, or fish going deaf. There will be massive amounts of species killed – naturally. However while mass extinctions are coming it will not be the end of all life forms. Those which manage to survive the coming apocalypse have a few things in common. Just our luck, all the surviving species pose a direct threat to mankind.

Global warming will cause new sharks to be created and those will attack us more frequently. We can also be set upon by killer jellyfish, cockroaches will thrive, crocodiles will be driven from the water, lizards become devious, we will be swarmed with rabid vampire bats, and all surviving insects will threaten vegetation or cause humans to experience pain, illness, or death. Hell, even those benign creatures which survive will overwhelm us, as we are promised “invasions” of everything from earthworms, slugs, rats, and cane toads.

 Unsettled Once And For All

 To say this hysteria is a touch overblown is me trafficking in understatement. Part of the  reason I have growing skepticism in the sky-is-falling message from doomsayers is the desire to blame every traumatic event on global warming. Take that earlier report on rapes – how does that square with more women becoming prostitutes due to warming, or even the ladies cheating more while on vacation?

Turns out there exists an exhaustive amount of data and predictions that are not only dire but absolutely contradictory. I understand a certain amount of research uncertainty but after a while it becomes revealing how much is AND is not credited to global warming – at the same time! Here is but a sampling of the conclusions that can euphemistically be regarded as “debatable”.

·        The Atlantic Ocean becomes less salty. That is, unless it becomes more saltyNo, we had it right initially, less salty.
·        Mountain regions will experience more avalanches. Also, mountain regions will see fewer avalanches.
·        Part of the reason we’ll be heating up is due to heat-trapping clouds. Unless an increase in clouds reflect the sunlight and shade the planet. OR, we’ll see a decrease in clouds altogether which is either bad, or good. Truthfully, when it comes to discussing this subject it is advisable to just avoid any mention of clouds at all.  
·        Of course Coral reefs will disappear. This is because the warming causes coral reefs to grow.  
·        The Earth’s rotation will become affected by GW. We just cannot be sure if it will start turning faster or slowing down.
·        The change in climate is making ocean waves much bigger. It is also having a negative impact by making the waves… smaller.
·        According to the San Francisco Gate, it is causing that city to have significantly more fog, except when it causes the city to experience a drop in the fog, according to the San Francisco Gate. 

But enough with these meteorological vagaries. I mean, c’mon, what about more definitively measurable occurrences, such as botanical reactions to climatic alterations. THOSE will much more conclusive evidence.  

·        The effects of climate change will cause a stunting of tree growth leading to deforestation, all while this will spur a faster growth of trees, leading to an expansion of our forests. The impact will also make trees less colorful, while causing them to exhibit more color.   
·        Farming will experience a severe impact from drought and a loss of soil, and farming will experience an expansion.
·        Specific crops will be affected. Bananas will actually increase in production due to a warmer climate. Oh wait, nope – the increase in predatory bugs will kill them off. Sorry.    
·        Also affected will be truffles. We just have not decided if they will become more plentiful, or if there will be a shortage.
·        Surely this will have an impact on beer, correct? Of course! It will either be horrible for hops production, or will lead to cleaner water from melting ice caps. Whichever the case, one thing we know for certain, beer will become more expensive.

 The animal kingdom also gives us numerous paradoxes. Butterflies are at once imperiled, and rescued. Amphibians are breeding earlier, except for those which are breeding later. Oysters will grow to giant sizes, as long as they don’t die from warming induced herpes first. Penguin chicks are threatened, either by increased rain and heat, or they will become frozen to death. Whichever, those little guys are screwed.

Perhaps of all the definitive guess work one conflict illustrates the bi-polarity of the hysteria best: We cannot even come to a decision whether we are going to see more pirates, or fewer pirates due to global warming.

No matter where you rest on the issue of climate change one conclusion any thinking person will arrive at is easy. Based on the hysteria and hyperbole to come out of the Senate the most glaring fact is the one that was never spoken. For all the grave dangers predicted and the insistence on immediate action the fact that not a single step has been taken by Senate leadership reveals a dereliction of authority.

By his own standard then Harry Reid must be considered the most dangerous anti-science politician in Washington.