It’s Friday and that means it’s time for another round of the PFoL Awards! This week’s theme pays homage to a show that ended it’s run nearly ten years ago, but remains one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. And even if you didn’t think the show was that great, the characters got along a hell of a lot better than they do in Washington, so let’s roll with it.
Without further ado, I present to you the PFoL Awards: Friends Edition!
1. The “We Were On A Break” Award
In case you’ve never seen the show (or have simply ignored pop culture for the past 20 years), Ross and Rachel were on-again off-again lovers during all ten seasons of Friends.
And just in case you’ve been living under a rock these past few months, you may not have realized that Russia and the United States haven’t been getting along all that well. First, Edward Snowden was given asylum in Russia after spilling the beans about the NSA and President Obama was not thrilled. Then, when the United States decided that intervention in the Syrian civil was a possibility, Russia came to Syria’s defense with Putin ultimately telling the United States to back off and let him handle business.
Like Ross and Rachel, Russia and the United States just can’t seem to work things out — even though they have lots in common and all their friends want them to get together and be happy.
However, just yesterday, the two nations reached an agreement regarding how to handle Syria’s chemical weapons supply. This was an important diplomatic step, so here’s hoping that some day these two crazy kids will work it out and live happily ever after.
2. The “One Where They Were Up All Night” Award
Like the Friends episode of the same title, this award celebrates a night of sitcom-worthy hijinks. The award goes to Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) for his 21 hour and 9 minute speech that started at 2:41 PM on Tuesday afternoon and ended just shy of noon on Wednesday. In the speech, he touched upon a number of different topics, ranging from the dangers of implementing the Affordable Care Act to how much of an asshole Harry Reid can be at times. He even managed to name drop Dr. Suess at one point. Extra style points for rhyming during that part of the speech, Senator Cruz!
*Honorable mentions go to Senators Mike Lee, (R-UT), Rand Paul, (R-KY), and Marco Rubio, (R-FL). All three of these guys chimed in with support for Cruz’s efforts, unlike the recipient of our next award….
3. The “Put Him in the Box” Award
In the episode titled “The One with Chandler in a Box,” Chandler reveals that he and Joey’s then-girlfriend Kathy had kissed. In response, Joey makes Chandler stay in a box to force him to think about what a bad friend he had been.
Someone needs to do the same with John McCain, because he’s gone off the deep end. The moderate conservative — who was respected and even liked by some Democrats — has transformed into a bitter, power hungry, big government politician. Earlier this year, McCain called Senators Paul and Cruz “whackobirds” for their libertarian leanings and ripped Ted Cruz again after his lengthy speech this past week. This is the same Senator John McCain who campaigned ferociously against Senator Barack Obama in 2008 — and against the very notion of Obamacare. Yet, somehow, he could not muster even a smidgen of support for Ted Cruz’s anti-Obamacare speech.
McCain, get in the box and think about what you’ve done.
4. The “Central Perk” Award
It was revealed earlier this week that Bill de Blasio, the current Democratic candidate for mayor of New York City, spent much of the early 1990s supporting various
regressive progressive causes. De Blasio also supported the Sandinistas, the very left-wing (read: Communist) part of Nicaragua.
In 1994, the pilot episode of Friends opened with 6 twenty-something-year-olds sitting on couches in a coffee shop, discussing their lives and their hopes for the future. I don’t know about you, but I like to imagine Mr. de Blasio sitting in a coffee shop somewhere with his friends discussing his hopes for the United States to become a beautiful Communist utopia, wearing a beret, and periodically asking the barista if she’s really sure the coffee beans are organic.
5. The “How You Doin’?” Award
Joey Tribbiani would utter his famous pick-up line “How you doin’?” any time he saw a beautiful woman, so this award was a no-brainer after seeing Sofia Vergara at last Sunday’s Emmy awards.
Although she didn’t take home the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy, her outfit was most definitely a winner.
Seriously, Sofia, how you doin’?
Bonus! 6. The “Opposite of the How You Doin’ Award” Award
Whatever the complete opposite of Sofia Vergara’s award is needs to go to Lena Dunham.
Girl, get it together. Fire your hair dresser and whoever told you it was a good idea to wear a giant curtain and hoopskirt combination to an awards show. Just look at this picture and no other explanation is necessary.
That’s all for now folks. I hope you enjoyed the Friends edition of the PFoL Awards! Just remember, I’ll be there for you… so be sure to tell us who you would like to see in a future editions and we’ll make it happen.